I am particularly fond of Article 2:
2. We believe that church ball players should be punished for their own fouls, and not for unsportsmanlike aggression.
I also think Article 9 is inspired:
9. We believe in all that we have scrapbooked, all that we will now scrapbook, and we believe that we will yet scrapbook many great and important things pertaining to our family, friends, pets, and vacations.
I guess you had to grow up in the Church....