Monday, May 19, 2008

Hope from the bloggernacle

Here's a comment posted to a Mormon blog thread about the California marriage decision.

These debates are so interesting for me, having been on both sides of the fence on this issue. For many years I held a very traditional conservative-LDS view on homosexuality and gay marriage, and would have agreed wholeheartedly with Adam’s [hostile] position. However, about ten years ago my brother revealed to his family that he was gay, after spending his teen years in depression, misery, self-loathing and guilt. It was a terrible blow to our very active LDS family, but as the years have passed we’ve adapted to having a gay family member, and have had our perspectives shift 180 degrees as we’ve watched our brother and son learn to accept his biological make-up, date men, and get married! (We are Canadian.) He has never been promiscuous, He just couldn’t face a lifetime of celibacy and loneliness.

Nowhere along the line did I have a dramatic moment where I rejected the church’s teachings on homosexuality, but gradually over the years, it just became a non issue. I am fully active in the church and committed to its teachings, but for me and for many others who know and love gay people, the church’s hard-line doctrines on gays create a lot of disconnect for us. Is it really the Lord talking? Or is it just cultural, like the issue of race was in decades past? So California is going to allow gay marriage. Big deal. It is not good for man to be alone. Let them live with dignity. My point is, that those who see this decision as an act of wickedness, and predict mournful consequences and weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth in the state of California maybe don’t see the whole picture. I’m not trying to judge or preach, I’m just saying that if my POV can change, maybe yours could too. Go talk to some gay people. They’re really nice. And often very well dressed. Maybe this isn’t the end of the world.

The comment was signed Sister Anonymous.

People like Sister A. keep my faith in the church and its ability to eventually emerge with a more compassionate policy toward its homosexuals.


[kɹeɪ̯g̊] said...

That's awesome.

Queers United said...

sister anonymous rocks

Chris said...

Too bad her comments are preceded and followed by so much bullshit.

MoHoHawaii said...

Hi Chris,

It is true that the original post and many of the follow up comments were mean-spirited. What can you do? Maybe that's why Sister A.'s comment was so welcome to me.

The unkind remarks in that thread are illuminating. They show a recognizable malice that always seems to be part of sectarian thinking. I'm glad I'm on the side of Sister A. instead of the odious Adam Greenwood et al.

(Also, Greenwood admitted deleting comments that challenged him. So who knows if what we saw was representative.)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting that comment. I waded through a small amount of them before losing my stomach for it. I found much of the same at stories on and It's discouraging, to say the least. But it's nice to know there are people out there whose opinions have been changed by knowing and loving a gay person.

MoHoHawaii said...

Hey Sheri!

I think there are lots of good-hearted Mormons out there who open their hearts to gay people. I'm going to bet that over time there will be more and more of them.

Traveling Mattie said...

count me as one "good-hearted" (i hope) mormon. i'm not sooper-dooper mormon, i guess. but i'm 'active' and go to church, comment, and am part of the community. oh, and i'm very pro-gay marriage. i think there are more sister anonymous's out there than you think. the problem, like with the race issue, is waiting for enough old guys to die, IMO.

MoHoHawaii said...

Hey Traveling Mattie!!

I completely agree that it's a generational thing. Young people generally get it. I just hope I live long enough to see it all happen.

Thanks for visiting. Take care.